I watch as people all around spend so much time trying to keep things the way they are or were...
Never pushing their boundaries... or pushing boundaries, so inane, that there is nothing being accomplished. My judgment... I'll own it.
I wrote a bumper sticker once that stated;
"God, grant me the wisdon to see my comfort zones, and the power to blast them apart.
I love this, not because I came up with it, but because it rings so true to me. Life is a daily journey, where I get to choose whatever I am going to allow in my world. I get to choose whether I am going to allow the choices of others bend my world in a certain direction, or if I am going to play out adventures that speak to my Soul. I choose the latter...
Does this mean I never allow the lives of others to have an impact upon mine? Of course not, I am daily reminded that I am a father... I am a restaurateur... I am a volunteer firefighter. And all of these choices of mine have their own inherent impacts and responsibilities that must be acknowledged and lived with the appropriate ability to respond.
But how often do I, or we, as beings, truly look at the long term ramifications of our choices? to really look to the outcome of how the thoughts placed into action, on this day, will play out in our future. In moments like these I love to incite, within myself, the concept attributed to Merlin, of living life backwards, in our minds, once we bring a thought-form into our reality.
To go to the end of the choice and look back upon the series of choices that will have to be made, one before another to reach a certain unfolding. I have made many choices in my life... Some have brought me great joy. many great sorrow. Some full of Love... others full of fear. But they are all my choices to make. If I made all of my choices only upon the grounds of how they will affect or be recieved by others... I would no longer be living my life, I would be living in a supporting role of everyone elses.
I have done this very thing for many years throughout my life... Being the emotional crutch for both my parents, from a very early age. Giving my power away to the fears of others... Giving my power away for the fear of being alone... None of these I choose to experience anymore. I am done with making realities out of others fears or wants. I look now to the notion that every choice I make is to serve the whole.
As Spock said; "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one."
Do I still choose to work towards my own happiness and fulfillment... of course. But I am slowly learning how to get the needs and that sense of purpose from choices that bring light to others.
I am sure many of you know these to be the words of Nelson Mandela, in his inaugural address. But they really came from a very adept, now time mystic, (at least in my mind), named Marianne Williamson. I will quote; " There is nothing enlightening in making yourself small, so other do not feel insecure around you. When you give yourself permission to let your light shine... You automatically give others permission to do the same."
There is so much universal truth to these words... yet still every day I watch as people withhold themselves and their truth for fear of non acceptance, in whatever form. Friends, job security, religious tribe... All dis-empowering effects of fear. It is time that I, and the lot of us, move beyond this simple minded notion of "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you." How is this even possible?
If I was a sadist... and you were a masochist, would we really want the same thing? I think not. So why would I do unto you as I would want to be served. This archaic thought process does nothing but rip apart the fabric of ourselves, to make others feel better. What if this were re-framed to state; "Do unto others, as they would like to be done unto... And they will do unto you, as you would like to be done unto."
I know this makes sense to more than just me...
For example; Have you ever had someone that offered to help you out in some way, shape or form... And when you really asked for what you need help with, they respond by telling you, they would rather do something else. How is that helping?
My Mother** did this once to my daughter... Hayley was reading a book... and my mom came in and asked her if she wanted the light on. When Hayley replied, "No", it was game on. The old wives tales started flying... "You'll damage your eyes reading in this light; Let me do this for you." All of this type of action, is truly to make themselves feel better. Nothing in it is to truly serve the other person, for if we wanted to truly serve them, we would trust that they actually know what is best for themselves in any given moment. Help and assistance can be offered when they believe they don't know what is best.
Then, to serve another, is to offer some suggestions that you have thought of. Still allowing them to make up their own damn minds. I know we all can give each other this gift. Who's with me...?
ps. I had a wonderful vacation... As I process the extent of what I have experienced and learned... I will share the fruits of the tree... But the tree stays with me... :)
** I love my Mom... she is the inspiration of the quote at the beginning of this post... Kisses and hugs Mom... I love you.
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