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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Definition of Love

By: Ryan O'Connell
FEB. 18, 2011

You can stop taking quizzes in Cosmo. Here’s what love really is.

Love is still wanting to hold someone after you climax. After the initial euphoria from the orgasm wears off, you’re replaced with a sense of calm rather than a panic. You don’t want to search for your clothes, scramble to find your keys and figure out the best way to tell them, “See ya later forever!” You’re fine with chilling out in bed with the person and maybe ordering pad thai later.

Love is unattractive. It can expose our worst traits: Jealousy, irrational fears, heated anger; the gang’s all here! While it can bring out compassion and tenderness, it can also make you behave like the ugliest version of yourself. That can be okay for a little while, but love with real longevity should be like a xanax rather than an adderall.

Love is not afraid to be schmaltzy. There’s a reason why the most popular love songs are so lyrically simple. You can drown it in metaphors all you want but love usually boils down to, “You make me so happy. I want to hold your hand. I just want u 2 be mine 4ever!” You can be a 50-year-old linguistics professor at Columbia University and still find something to relate to in a Mariah Carey ballad if you’re in love because the feelings are so universal. It’s humbling, isn’t it? No matter who you are or what your background is, love can reduce you to Mariah Carey mush.

Love is an all-consuming drug. It gives us these natural highs we’ve only read about in books or heard in songs. It’s addictive. It’s what keeps us going to bars, drinking glasses of wine, going to that stupid house party in Bushwick; it’s all for the possibility of finding love. In the wrong hands, love can be dangerous and scary. If someone lacks a healthy foundation, love can kill. All of these crimes you read about in the newspapers are usually linked to passionate love. “I did it because I loved them just…too much.”

Love is not what our parents had. In high school, you never wanted to think about your mother and father having once slept with people in the backseat of cars and feeling warm and happy. That would make it feel less special and young. It would make love have less to do with you when, EXCUSE ME, it has EVERYTHING to do with you.

Love is getting drunk with your significant other at a party and taking a cab home with your bodies intertwined. You feel safest in these moments, the most secure. Entering a social gathering with someone who loves you is the biggest security blanket. People leave the party as a parade of droopy expressions and sad cocktail dresses. But not you. “Sorry guys, I’m in love! I’m taking a car!”

Love is fucking stupid. Love is fucking smart. Love is about betraying yourself, of compromising your ideals for someone else’s approval. That’s actually the bad kind of love, but I guess it all blurs together when you’re young or when you’re old or when you don’t love yourself.

Love is your significant other telling you about their favorite album and then making a point to fall in love with it on your own. Love is wondering why your better half loves certain things. You think you can find remnants of them in their favorite films, books and songs, but you usually can’t.

Love is finding yourself feeling protective over someone else’s well-being Love is being incensed with rage when someone or something has done your lover wrong.

Love is wanting your partner to cum. And if they can’t, just say, “That’s okay. I’m enjoying this.” It might be bullshit, but they’ll be orgasming in the next five minutes. Trust me.

Love isn’t always marriage. Marriage is spending $60,000 so everyone can know that someone loves you. You know what’s certainly not love? Debt. In some cases, love can be divorce.

Love is a back massage, a mindfuck, a hard cock, a pair of perfect breasts, of feeling unashamed about the cellulite on your body. Love is someone giving a shit about you enough to argue. Love is not passive. Love is “Don’t fucking touch me right now.” Love is “Who the FUCK were you talking to?” Love is sometimes hating yourself for a second. Love is hate. Period. Indifference is the real killer of love and the true antithesis.

When love leaves you, you should be lying on your bathroom floor with no resolve. You’re smoking cigarettes in the bathtub and crying about everything bad that’s ever happened.

Love is someone seeing the beauty in you and wanting to bask in it every day all day. Love is not guaranteed. We are not owed love. That’s why when we get it, we know how lucky we are and hold on to it for dear life.

So, yeah. That’s what love is. Anyone know where to get some?

Saturday, June 25, 2011

And we wonder why our society is so screwed up with our sexuality and porn rules the cyber-waves.


Wow... Mind you, this was written by a woman. And the instructions are so perversely manipulative,

that I can only imagine where we would be as a society if love were given as the driving force of connection as

apposed to total malice of sexual control, condemnation and destruction.



Yes, this sounds like what God intended for us all... :) 



The following is a reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter,
Fall Issue, 1894:

                           INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE
                                 FOR THE
                               YOUNG BRIDE
                                  on the
                       Conduct and Procedure of the
                   Intimate and Personal Relationships
                           of the Marriage State
                                  for the
                    Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this
                  Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God
                                    by
                              Ruth Smythers
                             beloved wife of
                        The Reverend L.D. Smythers
                     Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist
                 Church of the Eastern Regional Conference
                           Published in the year
                              of our Lord 1894
                          Spiritual Guidance Press
                               New York City


         INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE


To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper
upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and
most terrifying day of her life.  On the positive side, there is the
wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a
beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing
a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life.  On the
negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride
must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the
terrible experience of sex.

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth.Some
young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with
curiosity and pleasure!  Beware such an attitude!  A selfish and
sensual husband can  easily take advantage of such a bride.  One
cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten:  GIVE LITTLE,
GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY.  Otherwise what could
have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.